Grown Ups

I feel like kids nowadays are forced to grow up faster than they should be. Or maybe I'm just thinking that because I don't want to grow up yet.

Malts

Whenever I'm craving a milkshake, I always order a malt shake. I love malts. I grew up drinking Milo and Ovaltine as a kid, and I suppose Horlick's too, but I was too young to remember that. These drinks aren't popularized here in the United States though. I'm sure everyone's heard of Ovaltine, but Milo and Horlick's? Not so much. I wonder why. I get the feeling malted milk drinks were really popular back in the 50's, but that popularity has definitely dissipated.

Ethnographic writing

I blog when I should be productive. Or maybe it's that I'm my most thoughtful when I have a lot to think about. Well, duh.

Today, I was asked, more often than normal, about where I was living this year. I'd respond - explaining that it was cheap even though a bit far. So naturally, they'd ask, "So does it look cheap then?"

My standard of living is different from a lot of people. I love my apartment a lot. The price, location, retro-feel. I know it's old but I don't need much. I started to think about how I've changed a lot but then corrected myself. It wasn't that I changed, it was that I better figured out who I was. I think a lot of times, people talk about how they've changed, and usually, yes, there is a change. However, I feel that as you grow, you learn more about yourself and who you really are.

Part of that manifests itself in the things I buy or the way I act. I am constantly thinking about how my time abroad helped shaped this into something that I accept as who I am. I don't need to live in a glamorous apartment with all of the amenities. I don't want to. Why am I so simple?

I think I tend to write about myself too much. I try really hard to extrapolate to broader ideas as I get rolling but it never fully materializes.

Balance

20 applications. 8 interviews. 3 rounds each.

18 hours. BA300, BA312, BA352, BA382, BA449, ADV400.

20+ hours. Study Abroad Office. Allen Hall Computer Lab.

1st post in October - 12 days in.

Great. Busy doesn't begin to describe it. :)

Nice

Autumn brings decisions

Dan once answered a rhetorical question of mine with a very well-formulated answer. And that's all I seem to want right now. Good answers.

"I think it has to do with whatever drives you to want to study abroad. You like being outside your comfort zone. I think you need to be doing something important and meaningful."

So I didn't settle.

Here's to the norm!

I laughed myself awake this morning. My parents have friends visiting all the way from Thailand. It's interesting, to me, to see my parents struggling with their balance of being Thai and American. They're American in so many ways they don't realize. While my brother and I embrace this culture - we want it; yearn to be "American" - my parents reject it as much as they can.

They were speaking Thai-English about the running water we have. Most Thai people use English words in their speaking. My parents are constantly interchanging it in theirs. So while my brother and I, and the small amount of Thais living here, understand it, I'm pretty sure Thais from Thailand don't. It was priceless listening to their conversation in the other room, describing things in their familiar tongue but having to backtrack for their audience to actually understand.

Running water is scarce in the town my dad is from in Thailand. One of my dad's friends was helping wash the dishes (no, we don't have a dishwasher) and my mom reassured him to use plenty of water - it costs next to nothing here and we have endless supplies of it. We really do. Amazement ensues.

On another note, I wish I could tell every person in the world that it's perfectly okay for them to be themselves. All too often, I sit and wonder about certain people - are they actually being themselves or just putting on a show? I used to have a hard time grappling with the fact that I can be myself and everyone would just love me the same. Oh wait, really? That's okay? People can do that?

When I first got to college, I used to want to go out all the time. I used to want to get drunk and do ridiculous things. But then I slowly realized that I wasn't that person. I liked doing small, intimate things with friends - staying in to cook, watching movies on the couch, playing board games until early in the morning. It took me awhile to see that I didn't have to be that college girl stereotype that everyone makes the norm. But it still follows me - in my close-knit group of friends, I am that girl. We joke around about it but I'm really not.

That's not to say that I hate going out and anything to do with boozing but it's just not me. So yes, it's okay friends, to just be yourselves. For guys especially. I just wish sometimes, with the guys I meet, I could tell them - hey! You're perfect the way you are. I like guys who go out and treat women like they're pieces of meat and are general douches. (Ugh, there's one right now that I'm particularly fond of.) But I also like guys who hang out with friends, guys and girls alike, and are the same person with both genders. Just as long as they're sure that that's who they are.

I remember the first time Trevor stayed over - we talked for awhile about girls. Of course, we weren't anything then. He told me about how he never had a problem attracting girls - attractive and not. That girls would come onto him and his problem was taking it to the next step. And I wondered to myself if he was really that person. He isn't. He's humble, absolutely modest, really sweet and nice, and extremely polite. So here he was indirectly telling me about how he's not living up to the guy stereotype and then I start to laugh. And I ask him, "Is that really what you want though?" I don't think we ever talked about it again after that.

Morale of the story: Sleep with as many people as you can - life's too short.